Brittney Kelly the wonderful woman who brought you this article on how to get the perfect boyfriend, and also this one on how guys can get hot girlfriends wants to answer YOUR questions about sex/romance/dating/whatever! So ask away! You won’t regret it.
Obama’s girls, Sasha and Malia are apparently fans of the Kardashians. Seriously, I love that the Kardashians are still famous. In fact they’re getting bigger and bigger every year (no like literally they’re getting bigger cause they’re like always pregnant or kind of fat and stuff like that lolololll)
Isn’t it fucking great that all they have to do is be hot, rich, and not mind a camera following them around all the time and just like that they’re forever famous. The only time I had a camera following me around 24/7 was when I went to Target and tried stealing Too Fast Too Furious on blu ray. Fuckers caught me, and the security guards threatened to make their status about me on their Facebook if I didn’t give the movie back. The fear of people ‘liking’ my failure was enough to comply.
Michelle states in the interview:
“But I sort of feel like if we’re talking about it, and I’m more concerned with how they take it in — what did you learn when you watched that,” Michelle explained. “And if they’re learning the right lessons, like, that was crazy, then I’m like, okay.”
“What did you learn today kids? Kim’s husband is an asshole? Alright, gold star for you. Now go back to your rooms and tweet about it.”
Come on Michelle, you really think television is for learning? How is watching the Kardashians any different than watching Spongebob Squarepants? There’s no lesson in anything having to do with television. All of it is meant to be mindless, stupid, vapid, and more importantly, fun!
Barack I don’t want to alarm you but dissing on the Kardashians might have lost you some important young adult votes. Seriously, these grrls fanbase is the same fanbase of young adults who voted for you in the first place because P.Diddy told them to during a commercial break of the REAL WORLD: SEASON “HOW ARE WE STILL ON THE AIR?”. If Khloe talks shit about you just once, that’s a guaranteed loss of at least 50,000 good votes right there.
lol dun worry Baracky I’m jk-ing juss a lil bit. gluck baby!
Is this really what the media has come to? An album of creepy paparazzi stalkers taking hundreds of pictures of a stupid tween couple? I found this series of pictures via Pitchfork. Fucking PITCHFORK! Is that really music journalism?
NO.
All it is, is Justin Beiber in his swim trunks, and Selena Gomez in her stupid pink bikini (if you are just clicking on the link now, it’s because you just read Selena Gomez in pink bikini—creeper) parading around Maui.
My life has never felt sadder, clicking picture after picture thinking maybe something interesting will pop up. Like Justin hitting his pinky toe on a rock and crying, or Selena giving Justin a handy under a beach blanket. But no, picture after picture was purely just looking at two young kids at the beach doing normal “vacation” things. Fucking gross.
The only people I can imagine caring about this crap is sad 13 year old girls who want nothing more than to see Selena Gomez killed so they can have Justin all to themselves. Seriously, the love these girls have for Justin is creepy. He’s managed to give too many tween girls those strange yet oddly enjoyable tingly feelings down there that they won’t understand until sophomore year of high school when that cute boy they kind of like wants to have a “deep talk about life and shit” in the backseat of his car. Okay sorry, now I’m just rambling about my life.
Please somebody save me from this madness.
AWWWW SHIT SELENA CLAIMIN JUSTIN IS HER BITCH WITH HER ARM OVER HIS SHOULDER. YOU GO GIRL!!
ahhhh stop! what am I saying? must. leave. internet. now.
(via reddit)
Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain sang a song about there being no pizza in this world. To make matters more weird and hilarious, he sang it to the tune of John Lennon’s Imagine. If you don’t already know, Cain was CEO of the Godfather’s Pizza chain.
“HEY WHAT’S THE BEST WAY FOR A REPUBLICAN ENTREPRENEUR LIKE MYSELF TO PROMOTE THIS D-E-LICIOUS PIZZA? WHY LET’S TAKE THAT COMMIE HIPPIE JOHN LENNON’S MOST FAMOUS AND POWERFUL SONG AND REPLACE EVERY IMPORTANT LYRIC WITH NAMES OF FOOD AND URGE DUMB COMMONERS TO FORGET THIS SONG HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH IMAGINING A WORLD FREE OF SOCIAL HIERARCHY AND UNJUST POLITICAL SYSTEMS. FROM NOW ON WHEN THEY HEAR THIS TUNE THEY WILL ONLY BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT PIZZA. THAT’S MY AMERICA!!!”
Watch this if you’ve ever wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
YOU GUYS, THIS IS THE BEST AUDITION VIDEO FOR BIGGEST LOSER EVER TO EXIST!
Seriously, the only thing better than watching this guy “exercising” with that shakeweight would be watching him do that same thing with a foot long ham and turkey sub.
WHAT THE—OH MY GOD! This CAT (cats?) is (are?) ten times cooler than any other cat (cats?) ever to exist and this is coming from someone WHO FUCKING LOVES CATS!
Read about Janus the cat (cats?) here.
To think, this kitty (these kitties?) was (were?) going to get euthanized at only a day old. Thank god this woman saved him (them?). Seriously, my day has been made. Happiness is spreading all over me, and rainbows are flying out my ass. There is good in this world. Along with opera singing parrots (watch the video).
Tamara Ecclestone, British rich bitch recently posed for photographer Tyler Shields rolling around in pounds of her own money (or should I say daddy’s money). The photographer proposed the idea to Tamara and she met with him the next day fully equipped with bags of money ready for their close up.
I mean, is it perfect fucking timing or what? This chick gets to use her surplus of cash as a prop for some dumb photo shoot while thousands of people all over the world are protesting barely being able to afford toilet paper.
In related news, it’s official: nothing is fair, everything is horrible, and I want my mommy.
“Who needs a blanky when you got all this money to keep you warm?” teeheehee
